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Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 15:21:59 -0500
To: JimmyKilpatrick@EducationNews.org
From: freebird@mindspring.com (by way of JimmyKilpatrick <JimmyKilpatrick@EducationNews.org>)
Subject: TOP TEN THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A DAD SAY
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I thought you might enjoy a tribute to fatherhood, aka David Letterman
style.  I was disappointed there was no references to as long as you are
under my roof or walking to school in the snow.  Enjoy! JCB






TOP TEN THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A DAD SAY


10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost!  Looks like we'll have
    to stop and ask for directions.


9.  You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready
    for unchaperoned car dates.  Won't that be fun?


8.  I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours"
    attitude ... I like that.


7.  Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.


6.  What do you mean you wanna play football?  Figure skating not
    good enough for you, son?


5.  Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you
    might want to consider throwing a party.


4.  Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car.  Probably
    one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes
    it run or something.  Just have it towed to a mechanic and
    pay whatever he asks.


3.  No son of mine is going to live under this roof without
    an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go
    to the mall.


2.  Whaddya wanna go and get a job for?  I make plenty of
    money for you to spend.


1.  Father's Day?  aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no
    big deal.




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