c:\doc\web\97\09\asian.txt From: Chi-X | \-[1]--[1] Newsgroups: soc.culture.filipino,soc.culture. |-[1] + asian.american \-( )+-( )--( )--( )+-( )- [1] JOKE: U know you're Asian if... | | Date: Mon Nov 03 08:12:58 PST 1997 Organization: AsianMafia.Com@mailexcite.co_m Lines: 39 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.0 (Win95; U) YOU KNOW YOU ARE JAPANESE IF... 1. You're obsessed with your hair, your car, and your clothes. 2. You want to marry a Korean American or Chinese American woman (males); or you want to marry a white guy (females). 3. You're afraid of black people. 4. You know you are superior to all other Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE KOREAN IF... 1. You smoke and drink too much. 2. You're actually sorry that Margaret Cho's sitcom was canceled. 3. You're afraid of black people. 4. You know you are superior to all other Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF... 1. You think you're the smartest people in the world. 2. You have a pager and cellular phone with you at all times. 3. Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice. 4. You're afraid of black people. 5. You know you are superior to all other Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF... 1. You've gotta have fish sauce with every meal. 2. You eat at a restaurant that has "Pho." 3. You have some relative who is Chinese. 4. You're afraid of black people. 5. You know you are superior to all other Asians. 6. You are in a gang. YOU KNOW YOU ARE THAI IF... 1. People want to pay you for sex. 2. No matter what you eat, it's not greasy or spicy enough. 3. You're not afraid of black people, because in some cases you're just as dark as they are. 4. You know in your heart that you will never be superior to all other Asians, but you've learned to live with it. YOU KNOW YOU ARE FILIPINO IF... 1. You want to be a dancer, a singer, or an actor, even though you have a day job as a nurse, a security guard, or an accountant. 2. A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star. 3. You're not afraid of black people; in fact, you wish you were black. 4. You don't care if you are superior to all other Asians or not, because being Filipino is just cool in itself. 5. You know Filipinos are the best looking Asians ever. Chi-International http://members.aol.com/ChiChiX CLICK HERE From: commentator@headquarter.com (Tom | \-[1]--[1] + Goodman) You know you are a Filippino if.... 1. you are a prostitute 2. you would rob and kill a tourist for even one American dollar bill. 3. you are a thief . 4. you ask for bribe. 5. you drive a jeepney. 6. you are always lying. 7. you sold your sister/mother/grandma to prostitution. 8. you dance in a go-go bar. 9. you always threaten to shoot with your cheapie saturday night special. 10. you always wear a cap with whatever logo as long as it's an American one. 11. you speak English like you have something stuck in your throat. 12. you would assaisinate any politician if he isn't to your liking. 13. you are a beggar begging at cars on the road. 14. you are an untrained security guard with a magnum .45 standing guard at a candy shop's door. 14. you are a taxi driver and rob tourist riders. 15. you are a taxi driver and charge US$1 for each peso shown on the meter. 16. you would have sex with an retired old white American man if he gives you US$10. 17. you pickpocket for a living. 18. you kidnap and murder children for ransoms. But thank God the Philippino friends I have are not any of the above.