c:\doc\web\97\04\dogwin.txt
 The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers
 >
 >20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
 
 >19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
 
 >18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
 
 >17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
 
 >16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
 
 >15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
 
 >14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing
 www.pethouse.com instead of working.
 
 >13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
 
 >12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
 
 >11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
 
 >10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable
 Thumb.
 
 > 9. Three words:  Carpal Paw Syndrome
 
 > 8.'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!  Now, cats, on the other hand...
 
 > 7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
 
 > 6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
 
 > 5. SIT and STAY were hard enough,  GREP and AWK are out of the question!
 
 > 4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
 
 > 3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
 
 > 2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
 
 >          and the Number 1 Reason Dog's Don't Use Computers....
 >
 > 1. TrO{gO DsA mM,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqs,.  *
 
            *  1 Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws. >>